Life and it's CRAZINESS

Most of you know the story, so sorry for the repeat, but i needed it for my journal. You may read on or skip to the next entries. ;) Thanks.


So, i had this fun little halloween party planned for thursday, the 29th of oct. We were also celebrating my birthday since B had the day off. We started the day out taking the kids to toiya's for a couple hours. We were going to window shop and eat at Made in Brazil. About 20 minutes into our date, I started feeling sick, flulike symptoms. Ended up coming home and getting chills and sicker by the minute. So, we had to cancel our get together. And most of the food went to waste because i felt crummy and B didn't know what to do with it. ;( Sigh...I was sick for two or three more days.

B said, don't worry, get better and we will celebrate your bday next week when i have thursday off to make up for it. So the next tuesday night I was up late folding laundry, getting ready to pack because i was going to visit the padres in SF that friday. Brad said, "Don't try and get up for the early temple session tomorrow. Just go on thursday when i am off". That sounded good to me. So Thursday morning, i got up and rushed to make the 8:40 a.m. session. Made it there at 8:35, changed really fast and sat down. Then we were escorted to the session...and that's where it all began...

About 5 minutes into the session my stomach started cramping really bad. I tried to let it go, knowing I was pregnant and get gas really bad during pregnancies. Then i wondered if i was getting sick again like the week before. I said a little prayer to please help relieve this pain so i could finish this session that i tried so hard to make it to. As soon as i said "Amen" the pain intensified about 100x. I had to stand up and leave the sesssion. They waited for me and i told them i would not be coming back in, as i hunched to the ground. I was so embarrassed, thinking...if this is really just gas, i am going to feel soooooo dumb for making a scene.

Anyway, i informed them about the pains and that i was 6 1/2 weeks pregnant. they took me to the little first aid room they have there at the temple. The man took my blood pressure and some others things. Then he pushed around on my stomach to see where the pains were. Then he tapped on my stomach, on the right lower side, and he about got my knee in his face, it hurt worse than giving birth! I know this is sounding dramatic, but it seriously hurt so bad! He felt bad, as i lay their crying and moaning, and said, "I'm sorry, i guess i should have warned you that that might hurt." Uh, yeah, that would have been nice. ;) No, in all honesty, the man was very helpful and kind. He was leaning towards the idea that my appendix had burst, as the excruciating pain i had just experienced means you are bleeding internally. He was going to call the Ambulance. I told him no, i don't have insurance. I called b, he didn't answer. I called his parents, they were at the cabin. I called our next door neighbors to run over to the house and put him on the phone. After explaining, he headed into town right away. But it was a good 20 minutes before he got there. When he arrived, the temple worker had just spoken to a Dr. that was leaving the temple and told him the situation. He informed him that i needed to get to the hospital ASAP as i was bleeding internally and that it was most likely a Eptopic Pregnancy, meaning the baby was attached and trying to form in my fallopian tube and not the uterus. So, B got me there, 30 minutes later i had three i.v.'s in me, blood drawn and a blood transfusion(?) on the way and fluids. My wonderful OBGYN dr. arrived to do the surgery, and my stress decreased immensley, as i realized he would be taking care of me. I oringally thought the ER dr. was going to do it and that just made me feel uneasey. I went right into surgery, dr. bumped 3 other surgeries to get me in there right away. I didn't have to have the blood transfusion and Dr. Rogers took care of me. I love Dr. Rogers!!! The ovary was okay, but they did have to remove the left tube.

The hardest part was having to tell the boys that there was no baby anymore. D cried for 30 minutes, so sad and sincere, just sobbing. C was sad too but quickly came to the conclusion that "It's okay mom, the baby in in heaven watching Boston for us" (Boston is our chocolate lab dog that died a couple of years ago and that the kids just adored her). C shared his idea with big brother, and he kind of grinned and was cheered up. Every once in a while C will come up and pat my tummy and say, "i still miss the baby and boston and mr. hall(a neighbor that passed away the same day i went into the hospital)." He is so very tender and sweet.

I wishy-wash back and forth about the fact that there will be no baby in June...but then again, when the dr. told me that if i would have went another 1-2 hours, then i would have bled to death internally. So, we are grateful that I am here, to take care of the children i do have. I know things happen for a reason, i just don't know the reason for this, and that's okay. I will figure it out in time. It could have been worse, that's for sure.

B said that was the worst day he had ever had. He was so sick to his stomach while i was in surgery and waiting for me to come to again, he said he never wants to go through that again. He didn't like not knowing what was going on and what the outcome was going to be. I love him and this whole experience just intensified his love for me and the love i have for him.

A big shout out to my wonderful Dr. Jeff Rogers!!! A big shout out the Brother Scott, the temple worker that was so determined to find out what was wrong with me!!! And a BIG shout out to my Heavenly Father, for taking it in his hands, and letting me stay here, to be with my family and to continue his work that needs to be done on this earth! I love life, no matter what "bumps" in the road i may come across...I know the Lord is in my life and that he was watching over me this day, Thursday, November 5th, 2009. I will forever be grateful to him and his decision to letting me stick around a little bit longer. ;)